


babysitting.

by razussy



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Do Not Ship Them, Gift Fic, Other, but also bc i love zoya, charlotte is mentioned - Freeform, made this in SPITE, short oneshot, they are bffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24832687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/pseuds/razussy
Summary: schaeffer does not like cats, and this only gets worse when visiting melissa for the day.
Relationships: Melissa & Colonel Schaeffer (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	babysitting.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zoya113](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/gifts).



> i had to come to the rescue and help ease anger, so here's this quick story >:3c

"what the fuck, melissa?" the first thing the colonel witnessed was not just one cat running around, but in fact FIVE scampering the apartment's floor. she began to debate on if she should make her exit as melissa didn't even notice her presence.  
"oh, hey! i just made tea, come in," urged melissa, as she scooped an orange cat into her arms. she came over and shut the door, which would mean schaeffer had to stay for tea... however long that takes for the two to drink. she followed the intern into the small kitchen and watched as she struggled with setting the pet down.

she opened her mouth to speak yet was stopped in a flash. "my friend from work is out of town for the week, and none of our co-workers wanted to watch her kids. so, being the cat-lover i am, i took up the responsibility!" she gave her reason and took the teakettle off the top of the stove. "they're a bit much and my cat only likes lyon, but you know, it's just for a week."  
"gross. if any one of them rubs against me, i'm leaving," said schaeffer, as she used her foot to push the ginger one, lyon, away. she took the cup that was meant for her and drank some of the tea, ignoring the fact it was still very hot, and that her friend tried to put honey into it.

melissa made a face then went ahead with putting a bit of honey and sugar into hers - not too much, not too little. "beware of him, he's pretty cuddly for a male."  
"even worse!"  
"oh come on, schaeff, he's just a cat! what do you have against them?" after she asked, the colonel glared at her as if she brought up the worse memory in the world. she didn't think much of it and sipped her drink, keeping a close eye on her pet and one of charlotte's, smokey. smokey was an american short-hair, her fur patterned with black stripes on top of gray and white spots; she was a particularly moody feline and loved to whack the others with her paws, luckily not having claws to hurt them.

"a pain in the ass, that's what i have against them. crying for no reason, like right now." she drank the rest of her tea then set the cup down without much care, gaze shifted to the living room where another one of charlotte's cats was having issues. this time it was mittens, a black cat with white on her muzzle, belly, and paws; she was scared of everything and everyone, and likes to meow constantly for the attention she didn't want. sure, it irritated melissa at times, but not enough to hate the animal altogether.  
"she's just a bit fearful of new faces and voices, she's okay." she waved her hand in dismissal, and as she slowly took in the rest of her drink, she watched the colonel go over to where the meowing was coming from.

she paused her intake, confused on why she suddenly dived out of her view behind the couch. she swallowed in a panic and shuffled over to the couch. "schaeffer?" she turned around the armrest, looking down at her. she was holding mittens at her sides, the cat expressing an emotion she couldn't identify - buffering is the best word she could find. jeez, charlotte has some weird cats...  
"uh, whatcha doing?"  
"stopping her," answered schaeffer, as she stood up straight with the cat in her hands, holding her wrong. well, it worked, for some reason. melissa took mittens into her arms and scratched behind her ears.  
"perhaps you'd do well with owning a cat yourself-" she was cut off with her scoffing and sitting on the couch, not wanting to hear her statement.

melissa smiled then set mittens on the floor, to which she happily hid underneath the couch, then sat down next to her. "i'm surprised fisher hasn't tried to do anything yet. she's a bit of a, how the gen z kids say, a crackhead." she let out a small laugh after saying this, since she knew schaeffer wouldn't quite get it. she didn't.  
"oh, fisher? you mean the all black cat over there, eating your flowers you have in the vase on the counter?" asked schaeffer, her friend responding in a gasp and rush to stop the cat from finishing her dinner munching the lavenders. it was the colonel's turn to laugh at this, proving her point that cats just weren't it.  
"hah hah, very funny. they aren't used to the change, they really are wonderful pets."  
"whatever you say, kid."  
"i'm serious!" she crossed her arms and pouted, making her chuckle once more. hey, at least she's amused.

"if you're only here to bully the five children and i, then the door is open for you to leave." she said, nodding her head to where the exit was, then began to pull the 'just kidding' card when she noticed schaeffer stood on her feet. "please stay for an hour."  
"an hour?! and what, choke on fur?" she gestured to her boots, which had the littlest bit of hair from melissa's cat.  
"that is all i'm asking for, schaeff." after this sort-of-but-not-really argument, the colonel sat back down and looked angry in protest to staying longer, though deep down melissa knew she wanted to. they were best friends, after all.

the next torturous hour was spent catching up with each other's lives and grimacing after any of the felines got too close for comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> probably too much dialogue for a story but do i care? no


End file.
